Should I be a missionary if I’m single?
This is a question that many have asked and no doubt will be asked at an even greater rate as young adults in America are waiting longer and longer to get married. Certainly, in every situation one should pray for the Lord’s direction and seek counsel from other believers—especially when considering the idea of beginning a ministry journey into a new country and culture.
I have many friends who met their future spouses while serving as a missionary—some who married a coworker and others who ended up marrying cross-culturally through their ministry connections. When I accepted my first full-time ministry position as a single young man on a team with seven single females, I have to admit there was a thought that perhaps that would be the way I would meet my future wife. As things turned out, that was not the case, and I ended up meeting my wife several years later in a different season of my life.
We know that some believers are called not only to launch into missions as a single person but, in fact, to live a full and meaningful life as a single adult. The Bible tells us that both marriage and singleness are gifts from God (1 Corinthians 7). I believe that it is entirely possible that God may be calling you to be a missionary as a single adult. But He could also have plans for you to marry before beginning that journey.
So, the question that remains is, “How do I know if God is calling me to be a single missionary?” To better answer this question, I think it is important to look deeply at your personal situation. While it is a matter of great importance and definitely something to consider in great detail, your current marital status is of secondary importance to God’s calling on your life.
Personally, I have had the blessing of serving as a missionary both as a single young adult and as a somewhat older adult with a wife and children. Each situation has offered opportunities and obstacles to ministry that the other didn’t.
As a single missionary, you will have more capacity for culture and language acquisition, relationships with nonbelievers and ministry activities. But it can also be especially difficult and even lonely to live in another culture without a spouse. As a married person, you will have the blessing of walking through the challenges of cross-cultural ministry with a partner and a unique opportunity to minister to other couples. However, as Paul states rather bluntly in 1 Corinthians 7:33-34, “… a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife—and his interests are divided. … a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband.”
Some of the best missionaries that I know are single adults—and some of the best missionaries that I know are married. Ultimately, God’s calling on your life is the most important thing for you to seek out—more important than your marital status. As Paul wrote, “Nevertheless, each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them, just as God has called them (1 Corinthians 7:17).”
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