The following story is written by East-West missionaries to Eastern Europe.
I spent the weekend with Ava* and heard her story over the course of a couple days.
Ava is from an upper class, educated family. Her father is a university professor and her mother is a doctor. Years ago she was in medical school and in love with one of her fellow students. One day her life radically changed during a walk.
A group of men stopped their car, abducted, and raped her. In a moment, Ava’s innocence was taken and worth devalued.
The loss of her virginity bound her as wife to the man who raped her, an uneducated farmer who my husband—James*—had befriended. This terrible tradition is called “bride-kidnapping” and is how many women still enter marriage in our region of Eastern Europe.
After Ava’s marriage, she was taken to live with her new husband and his family.
Thirteen people lived in their home and Ava—as the daughter-in-law—was expected to cook, clean, garden, and do laundry for everyone in the household. For 10 years, she was treated like a servant and abused by her mother-in-law and husband.
Eventually, Ava and her husband bought their own home and moved there with their three sons. Soon after, Ava’s husband married a second wife and kicked her out.
For two years Ava—though freed from abuse—lived in disgrace with her parents. Eventually, she agreed to return to her husband out of desperation to be reunited with her sons. In her culture, if a woman leaves her husband she loses all rights to see her children, which is why many women stay in abusive marriages.
Her story of pain continued.
Her husband married again and Ava got pregnant with a daughter only to be beaten and abused to the point of losing the baby after eight months of pregnancy.
Today she still lives with a man she passionately hates and cannot leave if she wants to maintain a relationship with her sons … so she stays and lives in silent, fuming submission.
Her story is heartbreaking to me and what’s worse is that her story is not unique. It is the norm for so many women in this Muslim enclave in Eastern Europe.
*Names changed for security reasons